What is love?

Kayla Webley
2004-02-13
The Daily

"Only a heart of ice can be broken," is the message on pink fliers scattered around campus by the What Is Love organization.

A club dating service?

No, it is actually an official UW registered student organization.

This diverse group is seeking to help the UW campus understand the word love -- not to make sure no one has a lonely bed on Valentine's Day.

As the group gathers for weekly Wednesday meetings, love fills the air in HUB 309. Members are greeted warmly with hugs and hand shakes as they enter the meeting room -- or what the group calls a "safe space."

They then form a circle of chairs so everyone is on an equal level and tackle the week's agenda.

The meeting is structured very openly. Members are able to come and go as they please during the two-hour time slot. Though there is a guest speaker on the agenda, the meeting can flow in any direction.

Self-titled "love doctor" Ben Belieu leads the group.

"I have a tentative schedule, but if I feel things are moving in another direction we will go with it," Belieu said.

The meeting opens with the newest member leading the discussion. Though everyone's ideas are quite unique, the group is interested in what each and every individual has to bring to the table. Its main focus is finding out what each member hopes to get from a club of love.

"What Is Love organization is a delicious stir fry of different people and their experiences," said Belieu.

The club welcomes all. According to one club member, the only thing that would exclude someone is if he or she did not have an open heart or mind.

"Negative attitudes like criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling, whining and belligerence are really the only things not accepted," said Belieu.

Belieu, founder and president, explains how the club came to be.

Searching through the many fliers on campus, Belieu happened upon one that read "Love Psychology? Want to learn more?"

Belieu was inspired and became interested in the psychology of love. From that point, What Is Love was born.

The group became official at the beginning of this past fall quarter, and, with 43 members on the mailing list, it is making its way into UW students' weekly schedules -- and hearts.

The group hopes to take on a variety of activities throughout the quarter, starting with speakers from various organizations and areas of study to share their views on love. The group also hopes to plan a canned-food and clothing drive and future spring excursions to picnic in Discovery Park.

"Events that will promote and try to nurture self and group actualization, awareness, love, warmth, respect, peace and happiness across a wide variety of different backgrounds," said Belieu.

In addition to these events, the group hopes to raise the overall feeling of love on campus. To encourage this, the group is interested in posting fliers around campus, not to advertise, but simply to remind students and staff they are loved.

This promotion of love is the club's main objective. The mission statement is to "promote love, warmth and respect to pursue peace, love and happiness across diverse backgrounds, regardless of gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, age religious affiliation or personal belief system."

This group strives to radically change the way campus functions.

"This campus has well over 38,000 students," said club member Amanda R.P. Collins. " If this organization can raise awareness to the impact of individual behavior choices on the whole -- on just 25 percent of these students, the impact on society can be tremendous."

According to Collins, the group is attempting to get students across campus to participate in random acts of kindness.

"It can start as simply as giving up one's seat on the bus, holding open a door, smiling at someone as you pass them in the hall, giving a homeless member of our community not only a buck, but also the dignity that comes with a simple statement, be careful, stay warm, take care," she said.

The club members are confident they can turn campus love into reality.

"Dreams are not just dreams in our love club -- we make them reality," said Belieu.

Belieu feels that through the establishment of love, the campus as a whole will thrive.

"I feel we can create a positive, personal, warm, loving, peaceful, safe environment for people to love and be loved and not be afraid of expressing who they are -- where individualism is certainly promoted and supported," said Belieu.

"We do have a ways to go organizationally, but I feel that our potential for impact is really quite staggering," said Collins.

So what is the meaning behind the phrase, "Only a heart of ice can be broken?"

"A heart that is open, positive, flexible, seeking to understand and full of love, warmth, happiness and peace and respect cannot be broken because of its faith in love," said Belieu, "[Whereas] a heart that is touched by the coldness of negativity, ill-will, hatred and fear hides in the dark, cold shadows of misery and is already broken."

Belieu hopes his club can change these hearts of ice to being full of love.

"The love club, What Is Love organization, is the energy charge that we can go through together to grow through life instead of around it with courage and strength in love," said Belieu.